The new mom

Since a new kind of life is closing in I’ve been thinking about my own image of being a mom. What my initial thoughts, feelings and views are on such an important but equally mundane roll. What does being a new mom entail, and can one really know anything about it before experiencing it for real? I’m not so sure. Who is the new mom?

I mean, I’ve always been mothering something for as long as I can remember. I guess that’s what happens when you have four younger siblings. But I think we in the end, no matter if we want children or not, end up mothering something. A dog, a cat, a plant or maybe a friend (or even a boyfriend). We’re simply here to care, and to take care. Wouldn’t you say?

The act of caring, or mothering if we’re sticking to the theme of today’s post, runs deep through us. Because at the end of the day, where would any of us be without the care of someone else before us? I think we’d be lost, if we even existed in the first place. We all need a mom somewhere. She might not show up in the shape or form we expected her to, and she might not even be a she, but she’s there. For you. To care for you and guide you through life and all that comes with it.

I’m 28 right now, and I must say that it took a long while for me to feel comfortable with taking on the official role of being a mom. Not that I’ve had anything against my own, I wouldn’t change her for the world no matter what. She did her best, as I think most parents do. But I remember always having some kind of conflicted feelings around being a mom. Or maybe around being ‘just a mom’ to be more exact.

This image of a mom being just this simple thing and a role to absorb your whole being is nothing I’ve been happy to have or even agreed with to begin with. But I also think I’ve been reflecting more the last five years around my feelings about this societal role that is being a mom. Especially about what it would be, mean and feel to be a new mom.

And I think what I’ve come up with is that the new mom era is here. She has arrived! And she’s not here to people please, be perfect or to do it all. She is here to be, feel and mother. Mother because it’s something to keep her sane, while also giving back to the world around her.

1. She mothers. A child, a garden, a career but maybe most of all herself.
2. She listens. To advice that she’s asked for, and herself if she is subjected to the unsolicited kind. To the earth. To the moon. To her inner wild.
3. She sets boundaries. Finally, the time is now! With a safe awareness she plants and nurtures healthy boundaries without a doubt. It’s time for the new mom to put herself in the first room, and for everyone else to listen for a change.

This is the new mom. For me at least. And I hope she’s here to stay.